So the wine i made a few days ago was a success, and yes, it did give me the shits.
I am no where near the crazy person i was a few days ago... But i think that the Geodon is making me go crazy at night. I think i am going to ask the doctor to take me off of it, because i never was this scared at night, i mean unless i went outside in the middle of the night on a very long walk down some dark abandoned dirt road... but fuck, who wouldn't, knowing what might be out there! but seriously, i haven't started going 'crazy' at night until they put me on that motherfucking drug. it turns your brain to mush, and you cant sleep if you don't take it, and it clouds your memory and thought process if you DO take it. what the flying fuck. i don't know, maybe the doctor wants to scare the living shit out of me at night :3 but i doubt it is that, and please don't take that seriously. like seriously, when i take it there it a different feel about the space that i am in. the doctor then put me on more of the Geodon, after me telling him that i feel seriously out of controll at night. i have told him that it made my brother act crazy, and i have told him that when they put me on it the first time, i REALLY felt crazy. crazier than usual... and that is saying something. so i think that i have a case. it makes other family members crazy, it makes me crazy, esp. the first few hours after i take it, and it has made me suicidal. so yeah, hooray for deductive reasoning.
so i REALLY REALLY REALLY hopes this works. and if it doesn't, oh well, than i have awesome insurance, no no no no no... just kidding!!